Gaara: Sunshine
by narni4eva
Summary: Gaara's story. Boy love! Kinda sad too so if you don't like these things don't read. More coming soon. Check my stories for other Naruto fanfics!
1. Sunshine

**From Gaara's perspective. Boyxboy references but nothing saucy. GaarxNaru and SasxNaru.**

The sun always shines in the village of the Sand.

Not that it ever mattered to me; I always knew it was there, and yet somehow I couldn't feel it, couldn't touch it, and the warmth that everyone else felt seemed to avoid me. I was cold, so cold, always cold. My heart felt dead; and yet, it could still hurt.

As I walked through the village, I saw no one. They were all hiding from me, afraid of me; to them I was a cruel and dangerous demon. I was always alone. Even my siblings feared me.

Sometimes I would be angry, so angry that they could fear me, instead of loving me; and then I would want to destroy them all, to bring them to their knees in front of me and show them how terrifying I could be. But deep within my soul I knew that I could never do such a thing. They were my family, my village, my people - how could I ever even think of harming them?

I walked down an old familiar path, not seeing, not feeling. The world was cold. My heart still ached. I was always alone.

I tried to remember the people I had met in the Leaf, the people who had been so different towards me. They hadn't known my reputation. They hadn't treated me like a devil. Kind-hearted Sakura, lazy yet intelligent Shikamaru, Kiba with his loyal Akamaru, distant Sasuke, pretty Ino, and all the rest...

And him. Always my thoughts strayed back to him, to the one person I could never forget. Uzumaki Naruto. Like me, he was a demon, an outsider. But somehow he managed to win the hearts of those around him, something I had never been able to do. I didn't really understand what it was that made Naruto so different, but there was something amazing about him, something almost unreal. He made you believe.

But all that was behind me now. They all knew, now. They had started to treat me like all the rest, to avoid me and call me demon. It wasn't my fault! How could they not see that this awful power inside of me was nothing to do with me, and that I don't want it? I am just the same as him! Just a boy with a demon inside him, just a lonely boy with nowhere to go...

I don't know how he does it. I honestly don't know how it is that Naruto can capture the hearts of those he meets and turn them into allies. If I knew, then everything could be different... but I am still always alone. There is no one in this world who loves me, and I know it.

I reached the edge of a sand dune, outside the village walls. I sat down, placing my gourd on the sand beside me, and wearily contemplated the horizon. I wish I could stop thinking abot Naruto. I wish I could stop dreaming of him, and seeing his face, and wanting to be with him. Maybe it is because we are so alike, but the attraction I feel towards him will not go away. Despite myself, I hope we will someday meet again, even as I know that such a hope is useless. I know that even if he came to the Sand and we met again, it would not matter, because he is already in love. I have seen his eyes as he looks upon Sasuke, and seen the way he tries to impress him. I have seen the pain in his eyes every time Sasuke turns away, and the joy when he comes back. For someone like me who wears a mask all the time, it is easy to see through Naruto's. He is in love. And I am always alone.

But, I must stop dreaming of him, somehow. I am stuck in this life, because the sand will allow no harm to come to me. I have to get up every morning, no matter how much it hurts, because I am Gaara of the Sand, and my place is here. I cannot spend the rest of my days dreaming of a love I will never have. I am Gaara of the Sand, and I am alone.

The sun always shines in the village of the Sand.


	2. Rain

AN: SO SO SO SO SORRY about the non-updateness of this XD It's all done though, so it's all coming. Enjoy. And review if you like it, I want to hear what people think. Jeez, I can't believe I left this for so long... D:

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Part Two - Rain

I didn't want to go back. I tried to resist. But something inside of me needed to see him again.

It had been far too long; Naruto had been training, I knew, while I had been busy with other matters. I was the Kazekage now, and my responsibility was to my people, not to my heart. I wasn't supposed to do things for selfish reasons. But I couldn't help myself. I knew I could not spend the rest of my life without ever looking on his face again.

So I returned to Konoha. The village was no different, and probably never would be; but the people I saw in the streets were not ones I recognised. There were so few shinobi now. I wondered how they coped, and how Tsunade was doing; as a fellow kage, I knew it was hard to deal with the problems of a ninja village.

A few steps into the marketplace, I finally saw someone I recognised. It was Shikamaru, leaning lazily against a wall, watching the world pass by, as I knew he often did. He was taller now, stronger, more man than boy. I had heard of his promotion to Chuunin. He wore his new uniform well. His attention, for the moment, was focused on his teammate, Chouji, buying food from an aged women at a stall.

I began to walk towards him, eager to hear news of what had been happening over the last few years. I wanted to ask him about Naruto, about where he was and what he was doing, and if he was alright. But after a moment I stopped. I knew I couldn't ask those things. I was Gaara of the Sand. I was meant to be alone. Naruto would never return my love, and Shikamaru was smart - he would see through me in an instant.

I turned my steps instead towards the street where he lived. Naruto, of course. I thought that maybe if I was walking by and he happened to be there...

But he wasn't there. No one was. I went up to his apartment and looked through the windows, but it was empty. There were clothes strewn across the floor. His clothes. I stopped for a moment to appreciate them, then carried on. With a sigh, I realised I had to go to Tsunade. There was no way I could get away with coming here just to see Naruto again - I had to pretend, at least, that it was an official visit. He didn't want me, anyway.

I am alone. That's just the way it is. I have to accept it. I have always been and will always be alone. There is no one who understands me - except for him - and he's already taken. I could never compete with Sasuke.

I met with Tsunade; it went by in a blur. I didn't pay attention. It started to rain outside, and through the windows I could see distorted flashes of orange now and then. I thought they were him, every time. They never were. Tsunade asked me if I would like her to show me the repairs they had made to the village after the attack. I declined, politely. I had no interest in Konoha, except as an ally. That wasn't the reason I was here.

I left, walked out into the rain. It poured down onto me, as if even the sky hated me. Maybe it did. Within seconds I was soaked, and the rain trickled from my hair down into my eyes. Everything was blurred. I gave up, and sat down on a rock by the roadside. I let the rain wash over me. I felt strange to be cold, and wet; to be outside and yet not be covered in sand. Rain rarely blessed my people. I decided to at least try to enjoy it.

I had been there no longer than five minutes when I saw them. One tall man, one shorter one. One grey-haired, one young and full of energy. Jiraiya, one of the legendary three ninjas, was walking with his student. Uzumaki Naruto.

I leapt to my feet, feeling a surge of happiness I didn't even know was possible. Just to see his face again felt so damn good. His clothes had changed, but they were still that bright orange colour. What kind of ninja wears orange, anyway? And he was so... so tall! He looked so much older, so much more mature, so much more... gorgeous...

He saw me. Suddenly he was right there in front of me, rain pouring down his perfect cheeks. This was the moment I had been waiting for for so long.

"GAARA!!" He squealed, jumping in the air excitedly. "You're back! Wow, you have to see this, you have to see this! I have this new jutsu! It's the best, most perviest thing ever!! I call it... harem no jutsu!!!"

Suddenly, ten blushing, blonde beauties surrounded me. They were all naked. I didn't really know what to say. Jiraiya was watching his young disciple with obvious pride.

"Uh... th-that's great, Naruto..."

"What?!" All of a sudden he released the jutsu, and it was the Naruto I loved standing before me. "You didn't like it?"

"I'll leave you boys to it." Jiraiya said, walking off now that the naked girls were gone. "Don't forget training, Naruto."

"Hai!" said Naruto unconcernedly. "But, but - Gaara! Why didn't you like it?"

I didn't even think. Something about Naruto stops me from thinking clearly. I just spoke, without even realising.

"I like you better like this."

For a second there was no noise but the rain, drumming on our bodies and the path we stood on. His mouth gaped open.

"...What?"

"I... I..." My mind was in turmoil. How could i have _said_ that? This was so bad... "N-nothing!"

"You said, you just said..." Naruto's eyes were narrowing as he finally began to work it out. "You like the way I look?"

"I... just forget about it. I heard you've been training with-"

"You SAID..." Naruto interrupted determinedly, "You said that you like the way I look."

"Y-yes..." I stammered out. My heart was thumping uncontrollably, like it would break my chest. He moved a little closer to me. I was flushed, despite the rain.

"You like... me... don't you?"

"I... I..."

"You _like me_?"

"Y-yes..." I looked away from his searching eyes, certain I had ruined everything between us. There was no way I could be near him now, not even as a friend. I was so stupid. I stared at the puddles around my feet, trying hard not to cry.

Suddenly, I felt something touch my chin. His hand. He lifted my face until it was level with his. I saw he had moved even closer.

"Gaara..." He murmured. My breath caught in my throat. I loved the sound of my name on his tongue.

His other hand slipped around my waist and pulled me towards him. I was dreaming. I had to be dreaming. This kind of thing didn't happen to Gaara of the Sand. But the next thing I knew, his lips met mine, and I knew it was real. I whimpered a little, unable to believe that he was kissing me. So many nights i had dreamt of this, so many days I had looked at the clouds and seen his face. And now he was kissing me, under the rainy skies of Konoha.

Maybe I didn't need to be alone.

"N.. Naruto... Naruto..." We both froze. The voice was not mine, or his, or Jiraiya's. Naruto let go of me. We both turned, to see a ghost standing under the rain.

It was Uchiha Sasuke. He was covered in blood, and the rain ran down his clothes in red rivulets.

"Naruto..." He said again, and then his eyes closed, and he fell to his knees, and then to the floor. Suddenly Naruto was no longer by my side. He grabbed Sasuke, lifting him in his arms, screaming something unintelligble. He began to run, the rain lashing at his face, screaming and screaming. Soon they disappeared, flying in the direction of Tsunade and her healing hands, masked by the storm. I hadn't even moved.

"Naruto..." It was my turn to whimper his name, feeling the fight drain out of me. Sasuke was back. Now I had no hope at all. "No..." I gasped, tears mingling with the rain. I felt as though my heart had been torn out. I knew that Naruto was in love with Sasuke. How could I ever, ever hope to win him over? Against the one person Naruto had always idolised, I had no chance at all.

I fell to the floor, feeling the water wash over me. I curled up, sobbing uncontrollably. He was gone. I shook and cried and cried and _cried_, but there was no one to hear me.

Gaara of the Sand is always, _always_ alone.


	3. Wind

Part Three – Wind

I woke up, forgetting for a single moment what had happened. I wasn't in my own bed. Why was the air here so cold? Then I remembered – I was in Konoha, and Sasuke had returned to take my love away from me.

I raised my head blearily, trying to determine where I was. I had no memory of finding somewhere to stay the previous night, and yet here I was, in a bed of cool white linen. I was also warm, dry, and dressed in someone else's bedclothes, as I discovered when I lifted up the sheet.

I looked around, and saw my clothes on a chair at the foot of the bed. My urn of sand was also propped against it. The room was empty except for me. I was alone, as usual.

I swung my legs round and climbed out of the bed. The floor was wooden, and felt smooth under my feet. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something orange and black, and turned to look at it. It was Naruto's jacket, hanging on the door of a small wardrobe. I wondered briefly why it was there before going over to the wardrobe. I pulled it open – and realized where I was. It was full of Naruto's clothes, weapons, and training gear. I was in his house, in his room… I had slept in his _bed…_

A knock at the door caused me to spin round, heart beating faster. After a moment it opened, and Kakashi stood facing me.

"Ah, thought I heard movement," said the famous copy ninja. "Well, Naruto left me here to tell you he's with Sasuke, at the hospital."

My heart lurched. He was with Sasuke. Of course.

"How…" I began. "How did I get here?"

"He found you." Kakashi's mask moved as he spoke. "You were unconscious, so he carried you back here."

"And…" I looked down at the clothes I was wearing, almost unwilling to ask. "Who…"

"That was him, too." Smiled Kakashi, as he pulled a book from his pocket and began to read it. "I couldn't… this eye remembers everything in detail…" With that, he chuckled and withdrew into another room.

I quickly changed into my own clothes, and left Naruto's borrowed pyjamas folded up on the bed. He had dressed me? How embarrassing…

I decided to go to the hospital, thank Naruto, and leave Konoha for good. Now Sasuke was here… I had no chance. I had to get out, before seeing them together drove me mad.

The storm of the night before seemed to have abated, though there was a strong wind blowing through the trees. Large puddles soaked my boots as I splashed through them. I looked up, to the famous Konoha monument – the faces of it's Hokages carved into the rock. Tsunade stared down over her village proudly.

As I looked, my eyes were drawn to a flash of light on the top of the rocks. A few seconds later, and I saw it again. Drawn to the mysterious light, I began to walk towards it. After a while I realized I would never see the source unless I was much closer, and began to run. The distance was deceptive. Eventually I stopped, gathered as much sand as I could around me, and floated up to the edge of the monument. The easy transport was one of the few benefits of carrying the sand round with me all day long.

From my new vantage point I saw a few blurred colours in the direction of the flashes of light. I looked closer. Blue and orange. It was Sasuke and Naruto.

I began to creep towards them, forgetting any sense of morals or dignity. My jealousy towards Naruto drove me onwards. I crouched beneath a jutting outcrop of stone and watched them, close enough to see the expressions on their faces. The wind was wild and powerful now. It whipped their words away from their mouths and flung them away, in the wrong direction for me to heat them. I could not get around them without being seen. I resolved to watch.

Naruto was shouting something, and Sasuke looked troubled. He was wrapped in bandages and carrying a crutch, but seemed strong enough to move easily. For a second I thought they were fighting, but then I saw the look of worry and pity on Naruto's face and knew it was more. As I watched, Sasuke made a quiet reply to Naruto's yells, and Naruto fell silent. After a slow moment Sasuke's face seemed to cave inwards. I drew a sharp inward breath as I realized he was crying. The great, aloof child ninja of the Uchiha never showed this much emotion. It was unheard of; it was rare for him to even smile.

Naruto stepped forward over the short distance between them and embraced him. Sasuke wept on his shoulder as Naruto tried to sooth him. After a short time they both sank down to the ground together, still locked in each others' arms. I had seen enough. I got up and ran.

I had been foolish to ever dream of love. A kage's duty is to his people. I had no time for selfish matters. Gaara of the Sand is always alone.

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Heheh. So, how'd you like it?

The next chapter will be up shortly, and is from Naruto's perspective.


	4. Sleet

This is from Naruto's POV, for the first and indeed only time in this fic. There is only one chapter to go...

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Part four – Sleet

Sasuke wouldn't stop crying. No matter what I said to him, he just kept on sobbing into my shoulder. I was so scared to see him like this. Cool, calm, Sasuke. His whole family was dead but he never seemed to care about anything, except for that one horrible day when he tried to kill me. How could he be crying like this? It was like something about him was broken, and I was the only one who could fix it.

While we sat, the wind blowing through our hair and lifting the sides of our clothes to flap around us like wings, I felt tears forming in my own eyes. How could it be that my best friend could feel this miserable? I had failed, failed everyone. I couldn't bring him back, so he had come back on his own, like this, and it was my fault. I had let him down in his hour of need. I was such an idiot!

Frustrated with myself, almost sick with worry for Sasuke, I glanced around at the scenery. Then, unexpectedly, I saw Gaara. He stood up, and ran away from the place where we sat. What was he doing there? It didn't make sense!

But then, I thought about it. He liked me, he had admitted it. And I had told Kakashi to get him to meet me at the hospital. But, I wasn't at the hospital. I was here, with Sasuke, and Gaara must have found us. And that meant that Gaara had seen us shouting at each other, and Sasuke crying, and me hugging him, and… oh no…

Too late, I realized how it must have looked. No wonder he ran away! I was torn, between Sasuke and Gaara, knowing they both needed me. How could I reassure them both, without the other thinking that I was neglecting them? I looked up at the sky and saw dark clouds. Sasuke was still crying. I hugged him tighter and rocked back and forth absent-mindedly as I desperately tried to think of a solution.

I felt a cold drop hit my forehead, and within a few moments a sudden downpour drenched us both. The storm was back. It was the perfect excuse. Sasuke lifted his head slightly, sniffing at the shock of the rain. Feeling almost guilty, I lifted him up from the floor a little, so I could look into his eyes.

"Sasuke… let's go back to the hospital, baka."

His lips twitched slightly as if he wanted to smile, but couldn't. There was still a deep-seated sadness in his eyes, but it seemed as if he was past the worst.

"Okay, dobe."

I led him back to the hospital, one arm draped over my shoulders. He shuffled a little every now and then, as if he was too weak to walk for long, and never made a sound. I tried to hold myself back and walk to his pace, but I was anxious for Gaara. By the time I had left him safely tucked up and asleep in his bed, it felt like hours had passed.

As soon as I walked through the hospital doors, the storm hit me full in the face. It nearly swept me backwards, the wind was so strong. Sleet was falling now, not rain, and each drop stung as it bounced off me. Where would Gaara have gone? In all this sleet I feared for him. He was slighter than me, thinner and smaller. The sand would protect him, but only to a certain extent. And he was upset… I was worried I would find him like yesterday, unconscious under the rain. He could catch pneumonia.

I dashed through the watery streets like the whirlpool I was named for, searching desperately for him. I sent out my kage bunshin clones down the side streets, hoping against hope that I would find him before it was too late. Where could he have gone? I was almost out of my mind with worry.

I could hardly see the street, the sleet was so heavy. It bounced painfully off my forehead. I ran through the market, the coverings on empty stalls flapping at me like ghosts. I was in such a hurry that I didn't even notice Shikamaru and Ino sheltering under an overhanging building until I heard Shikamaru shout my name. Skidding to a halt, I looked back and saw him pointing down the hill. The storm tried to steal his words away, but I saw his mouth make the shape of the name I had been waiting for. He was telling me that Gaara had been this way.

I nodded in thanks and dashed on. I wished I could be quicker. I wished I trained as hard as Rock Lee so that I could run faster. I wished I had sand like Gaara or a dog like Kiba to carry me along the streets. I wished I had a good nose like Kakashi's tracking team, or eyes like Neji, or insects like Shino, anything, _anything_, to help me find him. If he was hurt, or worse, I would never forgive myself. I had to reach him, to tell him that what he saw was not what it looked like. I didn't love Sasuke. How could I love my best friend? So many people thought I did, but Sasuke was more like a brother to me, as if I could ever know what having a brother really felt like. I didn't love Sasuke. I loved _him_.

How could he not know the way I felt? Every day, every night I thought about him. I trained hard to get stronger so that one day I could protect him. My friends were important to me, rescuing Sasuke was crucial, but in my heart I knew the only person who could make me train until I collapsed was Gaara. When Shikamaru looked at the clouds, he saw freedom. I saw Gaara's face. When I looked at the stars, I took comfort in knowing that the same ones stared down upon him. When I heard news of the Sand, I knew that it was news about him, and it left me feeling happy all day. There was no one else I could live for, no one else who could inspire me to breathe. Gaara was my everything. Without him, I would be just another monster.

At last, I began to slow down. One by one I dissolved the clones, knowing they had found nothing. He was nowhere to be seen. I thought my heart would burst under the combined pressure of exhausting myself and hoping he was alright. I didn't understand where he could be. A desperate tear trickled from my eye and joined the endless rain. The sleet was hitting me so hard I felt like I had been in a fight. I had to get to shelter. But how could I, when Gaara was out there somewhere, alone and unhappy? I couldn't take it any more. I began to cry hard, blinded by the tears as I cried out his name again and again. I had to find him. I had to rescue him. He didn't need to be alone, not when I was around. I had to help him. He needed me.

Like a sudden gift from the gods, the sleet stopped. The rain and wind slowed down until I could barely feel it. With one last effort, I filled my lungs with air and screamed as loud as I could.

"GAARA!"

There was no sound but the pattering of the rain on my coat and the stones I stood on. The wind blew the water scornfully into my eyes. I couldn't find him. I had failed, again. I was so stupid. So dumb. Nothing mattered but him, and now I had lost him.

I turned to go, facing the path from which I had come. Movement to my left made me look round wearily. I had all but given up.

"…Naruto?" It was him, standing there by the side of the path, looking at me as if he was afraid I would hurt him. His hair was dripping water over his face, and his eyes were as full of tears as mine. I began to sob again, stepping towards him slowly, afraid he would reject me.

"Gaara…" I cried. "You… you're okay…"

He stepped forward and into my waiting arms. I pulled him as close as I could, wanting to never let him go again.

"Yeah… I'm okay…" he answered, burying his head in my shoulder as the rain finally stopped.


	5. Snow

Part 5 – Snow

I had been wandering in a daze when he found me. To see him crying gave me such great heartache I could die, and it was even worse to know he was crying for me. Selfishly, a small part of me felt glad that he was worried about me, that he cared. It was like all my dreams and all my nightmares rolled into one.

Standing there, with his arms holding me tightly against him, I felt safer than I ever had before. I always knew that I could not be wounded, because of the sand; but now I felt like I was safe from being hurt.

Naruto was sobbing freely, clinging to me, as I clung back, like we were the only people in the world. I didn't want to lose that moment, not ever. It was like a taste of heaven, and the pain of only a few moments before made it all the sweeter.

After a long while, Naruto pulled away slightly, leaving his arms loosely circling my waist. I almost started to protest, but something in his eyes kept me quiet. He was no longer crying. He sniffled a little, taking in my appearance with worried eyes.

"Gaara," he said, in the most fragile voice I could ever have imagined, "I love you."

For a moment I could not even respond. My heart was overflowing. I thought it would almost break my chest with the way it was beating. I was so happy it almost hurt. All my fears, all my doubts, all my insecurities were swept away in that single moment. I could scarcely believe what was happening to me.

"Naruto…" I started, but the emotion overcame me and I started to cry again. Instantly, Naruto began to look terrified. I choked on the tears as I struggled to assure him that everything was fine. "I… I… Naruto, I l-love you t-too…" I gasped, feeling almost like I was someone else, or dreaming, or this was all a joke. It was so hard to understand that just a day ago I had been the most alone person in the entire world. Now I had him. Yesterday I was a monster. Today, I was beautiful.

I shook my head in wonder, and he instantly took it as dismissal. He was so afraid, so insecure in his love, just as I was, that he seemed uncertain I was really in love with him. Every tiny gesture that either of us made was examined and analyzed by the other, to see if there was a hidden rejection inside it.

I gathered my courage and kissed him full on the lips, the first time I had ever dared to make the first move. Eventually we broke away from each other, and began to walk down the road, arms still around each others' waists. The ground was wet, the rainwater trickling down the hill as we walked up it. Once he slipped, and I held onto him tightly, scared he would fall and get hurt. He regained his balance and we carried on, until we reached the main street.

The village was just beginning to stir again after the storm, and a few people were coming out to check their homes for damage. Most of them hardly looked at us; the few who really noticed us stared in open wonder as we went by. Most of the villagers knew Naruto because of the way he was always so loud and public; but few of them knew me, and fewer still would have expected to see us so close.

Eventually we came to his house, and I thought we were to go in; but instead he took hold of my hand and pulled me along the side of the building. At the back was a ladder leading to the roof. He was about to climb it when I stopped him. With a smile I wrapped an arm around his waist and summoned my sand. We floated gracefully up to the roof, and then sat down on the edge to look over everything.

Hand in hand, my head on his shoulder, his body leaning in to mine, we sat in a paradise of togetherness. It was still only the afternoon, and we had all the time in the world to enjoy each other's company. There was no need for words, not between us; we understood each other so perfectly that even silence was communication.

Eventually, the sun began to go down. Neither of us were tired of the view yet, so we stayed, and watched the village going to sleep. I felt as though I could fly away, free and happy, with him by my side. I lifted my head to look at him as he stared up at the sky. He was so perfect, so beautiful. He was like my fallen angel, my other half, my soul.

"Look up, Gaara." He said softly, and I saw soft white flakes beginning to fall from the sky. When they fell upon me they were cold and wet. I had never experienced anything like it.

"Naruto… what is it?" I asked, slightly alarmed at this new sensation. He looked round at me with wide eyes.

"You've never felt snow before?" he asked, astonished.

"No… we never have this in Suna…" I replied, confused. He nodded, and leaned over slightly to look at the street below.

"It's a shame… the streets are too wet for it to settle. It's so beautiful when it settles, Gaara. You'd love it."

I smiled at him, bemused by the strange storms that I had seen in Konoha.

"Naruto," I said happily, "The weather here is almost as crazy as you."

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Ahhh... that's the end, then :) I really couldn't let them end in misery, and this was so much nicer!

What did you think? There's more GaaNaru coming up, but there's some of other pairings too, so there's plenty for you to sink your teeth in if you liked this one ;)


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